Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize