Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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