Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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