...so i touched it.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
