now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
