About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
