I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
