you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So. Much. Porn.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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