And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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