My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my sisters under your porch take her home
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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