My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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