It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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