well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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