i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
