Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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