Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
