Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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