every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Actions speak louder than pants.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
be right there i have to get my cape
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
