I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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