Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
tell me about the eggs
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
