Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
