Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
