Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
