I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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