we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
