just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
that is very illegal...i love you.
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