Barsexuality is the new black.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize