just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
sex in a hospital.. check
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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