Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
