i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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