you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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