if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
