I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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