Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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