I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
