we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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