Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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