Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize