Define "chronic" masturbator.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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