White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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