Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
