Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
