Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
