Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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