I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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