nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
