if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
