I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
