I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize