I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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