You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
