Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
