i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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