That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
