Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
