my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just google imaged poop.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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