They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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