yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
