fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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