yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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