I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Randomize