Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize