I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
