i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize