census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is it penis luge time yet?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
