Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
