i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
