new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize