Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
