Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
