But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
